Weekend Enlightenment...

Saturday. 9:30 AM. Part 1 of Prepared Childbirth. This is a windy yarn, see if you can follow all the strings here.

Ha.

Yes, we're coming to the end of our baby classes. We've saved the longest for last. 2 all-day sessions and we'll be alleged experts. However, we did learn some facts that are amazing and will be great to share at parties. But before I get to those, let me tell you a little something about the class itself.

Not that I'm competitive, but as I was observing folks as they came in I thought, Oh yeah, I am SOOOO the most pregnant here. Nope. there was one lady in particular that only looked like she may have a second helping at lunch and she was due anytime. Several folks were due right around us or a week earlier, and almost everyone seemed to be scheduled for an ultrasound this week. Of course I was dejected and began to think that the brontosaurus comment could have been warranted. John mentioned several times that morning that I really could be carrying twins.

We didn't met any life-long friends, but there did seem to be a lot of people that seemed to already know everything about birth and others thought that the freakish experiences of their neighbor's postman's mechanic's wife were relevant to our whole class. Even some first time parents argued with the instructor and her 15 years of doula experience. It makes perfect sense to me that these folks would take a class to learn things. Our instructor honed in on a couple who were due way after us and kept saying she didn't know if they'd make it to the next class. So logically I think we can deliver at any time. Maybe those people were right to argue with her after all...

GOOD PART: Now, for the first amazing fact. Did you know that babies are actually born out of objects that resemble heavy-knit turtleneck sweaters? How cool is that? Oh wait, and moonshine bottles! I think we're having a moonshine baby since someone (who shall remain nameless) has the hiccups everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. I must admit, these props did actually help illustrate things, but I can't be 100% serious about this stuff or I'd curl up and die.

BAD PART: We watched several videos of "live human births", which is fine, but all of them were without pain medication. Solidifies my earlier posting, you betcha.

GOOD PART: Class was close to downtown so we went to get some BBQ for lunch and browse the farmer's market. The BBQ and the produce were excellent.

GOOD PART: We learned lots of relaxation techniques, most of which involve John rubbing my back and contorting into different shapes for me to rest against. Yay for me. Triple bonus points for John since he pulled out some of these techniques on Sunday when I had a mini-meltdown. Not only did he make me feel better right away, but he proved he was really paying attention even though it looked like he was snoozing on the mat. Which leads us to...

GOOD PART/BAD PART: Comfy mats for us to lie down on. Bad part was getting up and down off the mats every 2 seconds. Hello. I can't even get out of bed that easily, much less up and down from the floor.

BAD PART: We have a whole other day of this.

So Sunday rolls around and John continues to mention this twin thing with serious concern. Long story short, we have most contingencies covered. We've got several names for multiples and have even thrown in a girl's name or two. The carseat is in the car, much to Ellie's irritation. Hopefully I'll have some time to blog a lot over the next few days (I MEAN WEEKS) before the Mongoose arrives. There will be some pictures coming for sure - oh! Maybe from class next week.